Alcohol - When Is Enough, Enough?Though there is still some debate about the nature of
alcoholism, most professionals now understand it to be a chronic
and sometimes fatal disease, likely with a genetic component. In
the definition adopted by the National Council on Alcoholism and
Drug Dependence, alcoholism is characterized by impaired
control over dinkingand distortions in thinking, most notably
denial. What this means for alcoholics is that they are
frequently unable to make the decision to stop drinking without
help from others.
Unfortunately, alcoholics have frequently engaged family member
to make excuses and cover up for them. After prolonged and
repeated excuse making many family members have a hard time
facing up to the fact that they have been part of the problem.
The first step to getting an alcoholic help is for family
members to stop making excuses. Calling in sick for a husband or
wife who has a hangover, cleaning up after their drunken messes,
hiding the problem from other family members and dozens of other
behaviors are all ways in which well intentioned families just
make it worse.
Once, one or more family members have developed an awareness of
the problem and ceased any enabling behaviors they may have been
engaged in its time to intervene. An opportune time to talk to
a person about their disease may come shortly after an alcohol
related problem has occurred--like a serious family argument or
an accident. However, waiting to discuss the problem can also
have drastic consequences, so if the persons behavior is
destructive dont delay. Choose a time when the person is sober
and there arent other distractions.
One thing people often worry about is what to say. Tell your
loved one that you are worried about his or her drinking.
Sharing that youve read that alcoholism is a disease can help
disarm the person and allow them to not feel defensive. This can
reduce the likelihood of an argument. Explain to the person what
problems you see their drinking causing for them, as well as,
how its a problem for you.
Tell the person what will you do if they dont stop. Explain to
them that you care for/love him or her too much to watch them
destroy themselves without trying to stop them from it. Each
person and situation will call for something different. You may
state to a son or daughter that you will no longer give them
money for rent, you may tell a spouse that you will not go out
or talk to him or her when he or she is drunk. Whatever you say
to them dont set consequences that you are unwilling to follow
through on, this will only give the message that you arent
serious and will tolerate their drinking.
Before talking to the person it can be helpful to locate
resources. Gather information in advance about treatment
options. If a person indicates that he or she is willing to get
treatment, it is important that it be immediately available. For
treatment resources try www.addictionsresources.com
If you dont get anywhere talking to the person on your own try
professional intervention. There are professionals, known as
intervention specialists, who can help facilitate a group
meeting of family members, friends and even employers to
appropriately confront the alcoholic or addict. For more
information on interventions see www.interventionresources.net
A great deal of stress can be incurred while coping with an
alcoholic or addict, so get support you dont have to go through
it alone. Al-Anon, provides free support groups for spouses and
loved ones of alcoholics, and Al-ateen, provides support for
children and teenagers with alcoholic parents or guardians.
Participating in these groups may help family members process
their emotions and develop coping skills for dealing with the
alcoholic/addict. Sometimes more help may be need than these
support groups can provide and seeking help from a professional
counselor may be necessary.
Find rehab centers & other important resources in our GETTING HELP section.
About the author:
David Westbrook is a freelance writer. For more information on
alcoholism see http://www.alcoholismcures.com and
http://www.onalcoholism.com
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Alcoholism - Recovery 
